Aug 22, 2023 — I should probably be happily hyping the new designs we introduced last week and telling their great backstories, but something tells me to send you this longtime Cardie favorite card this evening.
Maybe I sense we all need “a good cry” because summer is coming to an end, natural disasters are not, and so many of us are concerned that someone we love is not in a good place … the neighbor who is valiantly finding his way forward without the love of his wife of 55 years. The colleague who has to concede — no matter how heart-wrenching — that it’s time her brother was moved from Memory Care to Hospice. Last Saturday, it was I who had a good cry over how much I still miss having my mom around on what would have been her 100th birthday.
“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind” is such a great quote. Years ago, from a wonderfully woo-woo masseuse, I learned a powerful exercise that I use when I feel like I’m getting lost in everyone else’s concerns, and I’d like to share it with you here. Let me preface by admitting that the massage therapist first pointed out how challenging it was for me to relax on her table. “Your body may be here,” she said, “but where is your heart, mind, and spirit?” At first I laughed that off saying, “Yea, well, I guess I’m worrying about this and wondering about that and fearing what’s going to happen with this other thing.”
That led her to gently ask, “If you’re off somewhere worrying about all that and everyone else, who’s here taking care of you?” Hmm. “And if you don’t take care of you,” she said, “how do you propose to care for all those who seem to mean so much to you?” There is that.
“Try this,” she proposed, and wrote the following down so I can still read her crisp handwriting and feel her calming energy to this day. She said:
Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor and your hands on your belly, breathing way down into your core. While continuing the deep breathing, bring your hands to your heart. Keep your hands right there, and say quietly:
“I remember.”
(Take a deep breath.)
“I remember.”
(Another deep breath.)
“Now I remember me.”
She said to repeat the three phrases — with deep breaths in between — three times. “I remember, I remember, now I remember me.” And then notice how you’re calmed by this simple act of being there for you.
Cardie Margaret Burke wrote us several years ago that, “When my mother died, one of her friends sent me your ‘a good cry’ card and I thought it was hands-down the best card I had received. I have left it on my home office desk all this time as a reminder that it’s ok to let the waves hit when they come to you.”
It seems to us that Margaret has a great idea there, so to all orders placed this week, we’ll drop in one A Good Cry card for your own desk FREE. Because I’m guessing many of you kind-hearted Cardies will relate to something a friend once said to me. “Sometimes you just care too much.” That was right before he said, “Please don’t ever stop.”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
Aug 22, 2023 — I should probably be happily hyping the new designs we introduced last week and telling their great backstories, but something tells me to send you this longtime Cardie favorite card this evening.
Maybe I sense we all need “a good cry” because summer is coming to an end, natural disasters are not, and so many of us are concerned that someone we love is not in a good place … the neighbor who is valiantly finding his way forward without the love of his wife of 55 years. The colleague who has to concede — no matter how heart-wrenching — that it’s time her brother was moved from Memory Care to Hospice. Last Saturday, it was I who had a good cry over how much I still miss having my mom around on what would have been her 100th birthday.
“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind” is such a great quote. Years ago, from a wonderfully woo-woo masseuse, I learned a powerful exercise that I use when I feel like I’m getting lost in everyone else’s concerns, and I’d like to share it with you here. Let me preface by admitting that the massage therapist first pointed out how challenging it was for me to relax on her table. “Your body may be here,” she said, “but where is your heart, mind, and spirit?” At first I laughed that off saying, “Yea, well, I guess I’m worrying about this and wondering about that and fearing what’s going to happen with this other thing.”
That led her to gently ask, “If you’re off somewhere worrying about all that and everyone else, who’s here taking care of you?” Hmm. “And if you don’t take care of you,” she said, “how do you propose to care for all those who seem to mean so much to you?” There is that.
“Try this,” she proposed, and wrote the following down so I can still read her crisp handwriting and feel her calming energy to this day. She said:
Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor and your hands on your belly, breathing way down into your core. While continuing the deep breathing, bring your hands to your heart. Keep your hands right there, and say quietly:
“I remember.”
(Take a deep breath.)
“I remember.”
(Another deep breath.)
“Now I remember me.”
She said to repeat the three phrases — with deep breaths in between — three times. “I remember, I remember, now I remember me.” And then notice how you’re calmed by this simple act of being there for you.
Cardie Margaret Burke wrote us several years ago that, “When my mother died, one of her friends sent me your ‘a good cry’ card and I thought it was hands-down the best card I had received. I have left it on my home office desk all this time as a reminder that it’s ok to let the waves hit when they come to you.”
It seems to us that Margaret has a great idea there, so to all orders placed this week, we’ll drop in one A Good Cry card for your own desk FREE. Because I’m guessing many of you kind-hearted Cardies will relate to something a friend once said to me. “Sometimes you just care too much.” That was right before he said, “Please don’t ever stop.”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
I just love your newsletters. Having a good cry now. I forwarded this newsletter to a friend of mine who I know is struggling right now. In our last phone conversation I was telling her how much I loved your cards. So many of them say just the right things. Thank you for your words and reminders of all things important .
Talk about saying “just the right things!” What a lovely and gratifying comment yours was for us to read, Debbie. As sorry as I am to hear your friend is struggling, I’m also happy for her that she has a caring friend like you in her corner. Good cries and good friends, where would we be without them?! Thank you, Debbie
I just found out that my 9 month old beautiful grand niece has a rare genetic mutation that is incurable. She will probably never walk or talk & my nephew & his wife are heartbroken. Eloise is a happy, smiley baby, the apple of her parents Eye but the future they are heading off to is daunting.
Your newsletter couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I will be ordering this week & sending one of your cards to them soon.
Thank you for sharing this, Diana, so everyone who reads it can hold a good thought for sweet Eloise and her family, including caring you.
While of course the cases are different, you and your nephew and his wife might take comfort from the writing of Contributing Cardie Jenni Betz https://cardthartic.com/our-cardies/jenni-betz/ and her personal blog http://betzfamilycolumbus.blogspot.com/p/celias-story.html
Jenni’s writing is as brave as it is beautiful as she chronicled the challenging journey her family took with their daughter Celia, who they lost to the rare Batten Disease when she was four. “Daunting” though the future may be, my sense is that Eloise’s parents are blessed to have you there for them.
I just lost my husband of 45 years in June. Your email couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. You are a woman of wisdom. Thank you!
I’m very sorry your husband is no longer with you, Peggy. I am also glad that you have come to share part of yourself with this caring community because you can be sure everyone who reads your comment will send you a little soothing love. You may have already seen this Cardie Newsletter on Legacy vs Loss, but I’m going to drop the link in just in case as it reinforces how important is to help each other grieve. Just by bravely voicing your loss here, you have no doubt helped others face theirs. Thank you, Peggy.
https://cardthartic.com/the-blog/legacy-vs-loss/