November 29, 2022 — As we’re all so sadly aware, come December 14th, 26 families in Newtown, Connecticut, will have been grieving their immense losses for 10 long years. If you would like those families to know that your heart is with them — and the card above carries a message that feels right to you — add one to any order you place today or tomorrow and it will be complimentary.
While you can feel free to send the card to any family you know who will be affected by this tragic anniversary, here is the mailing address for Sandy Hook Promise, a national nonprofit founded and led by several family members whose loved ones were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary:
Sandy Hook Promise Foundation
PO Box 3489
Newtown, CT 06470
It was Cardie Roxann Hassett who prompted the idea for this community effort by sharing the very soulful and thought-provoking piece you can read below. Roxann is a licensed mental health counselor, with specialty areas including grief and loss, trauma, anxiety, and depression. She had read the open letter to colleagues that Richard A. Chefetz, M.D. had written soon after Sandy Hook. Dr. Chefetz reflects on his work as a psychiatrist in private practice in Washington, D.C., and as past president of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. Here’s what Dr. Chefetz expressed so beautifully …
“There is a part of me who periodically looks up from the work I do, the work we do, and asks: Really? Is this really the world I am living in?
“And of course, the answer is a quiet Yes.
“This is also a world of magical moments of kindness, tenderness, and the gift of someone’s attention before I even know I am longing for it. It’s a world of music, art, poetry and all manner of joyous kaleidoscopic transformations of what is in mind to what is in the world. And yet, I know, much of what is art is also in the transformation from a mind in pain, struggling to heal, tell a story, take a breath, finally.
“I don’t enjoy sadness. I am clear it is painful to sit with my losses, my grief, or the loss and grief in another person. But I would not trade away the moments in my life and work when I grieve openly with another person, a shared grief that is felt all around. It is one thing to grieve. It is another thing to grieve alone. I am opposed to lonely grief.
“So now, again, in the aftermath of yet another tragedy, there are calls to ‘fix it,’ ‘never again,’ and when else have I heard those voices? Too often.
“While we each ‘do our thing’ in response to the world we live in, I would simply like to note that there needs to be space to grieve, to share the misery of the moment, to know the depth of the sorrow and pain, to sit with the feelings for a while, together, rather than start to take action.
“It is a paradox that I have found my capacity to know and experience joy seems to have become much greater through the years of working amidst the pain inherent in our chosen work with people who have experienced all manner of trauma and its attendant dissociative responses. We know feeling by its intensity and the tragic twins of joy and sadness, delight and grief, are with us now.
“There are many broken hearts in the world. I wish healing to the broken hearts reading this. Hearts need to stick together.”
Cardies, we wish you could sit in our seats for a day and have your hearts warmed by seeing just how many of you are actively reaching out, sending those paper hugs. Thank you for being as kind as we know you to be. I’d be remiss if I did not join Contributing Cardie Gloria Dougherty in encouraging you to do more by voicing your feelings on gun safety to your local and national lawmakers. Quantities of our Please Listen postcards are always FREE for the asking.
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
November 29, 2022 — As we’re all so sadly aware, come December 14th, 26 families in Newtown, Connecticut, will have been grieving their immense losses for 10 long years. If you would like those families to know that your heart is with them — and the card above carries a message that feels right to you — add one to any order you place today or tomorrow and it will be complimentary.
While you can feel free to send the card to any family you know who will be affected by this tragic anniversary, here is the mailing address for Sandy Hook Promise, a national nonprofit founded and led by several family members whose loved ones were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary:
Sandy Hook Promise Foundation
PO Box 3489
Newtown, CT 06470
It was Cardie Roxann Hassett who prompted the idea for this community effort by sharing the very soulful and thought-provoking piece you can read below. Roxann is a licensed mental health counselor, with specialty areas including grief and loss, trauma, anxiety, and depression. She had read the open letter to colleagues that Richard A. Chefetz, M.D. had written soon after Sandy Hook. Dr. Chefetz reflects on his work as a psychiatrist in private practice in Washington, D.C., and as past president of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. Here’s what Dr. Chefetz expressed so beautifully …
“There is a part of me who periodically looks up from the work I do, the work we do, and asks: Really? Is this really the world I am living in?
“And of course, the answer is a quiet Yes.
“This is also a world of magical moments of kindness, tenderness, and the gift of someone’s attention before I even know I am longing for it. It’s a world of music, art, poetry and all manner of joyous kaleidoscopic transformations of what is in mind to what is in the world. And yet, I know, much of what is art is also in the transformation from a mind in pain, struggling to heal, tell a story, take a breath, finally.
“I don’t enjoy sadness. I am clear it is painful to sit with my losses, my grief, or the loss and grief in another person. But I would not trade away the moments in my life and work when I grieve openly with another person, a shared grief that is felt all around. It is one thing to grieve. It is another thing to grieve alone. I am opposed to lonely grief.
“So now, again, in the aftermath of yet another tragedy, there are calls to ‘fix it,’ ‘never again,’ and when else have I heard those voices? Too often.
“While we each ‘do our thing’ in response to the world we live in, I would simply like to note that there needs to be space to grieve, to share the misery of the moment, to know the depth of the sorrow and pain, to sit with the feelings for a while, together, rather than start to take action.
“It is a paradox that I have found my capacity to know and experience joy seems to have become much greater through the years of working amidst the pain inherent in our chosen work with people who have experienced all manner of trauma and its attendant dissociative responses. We know feeling by its intensity and the tragic twins of joy and sadness, delight and grief, are with us now.
“There are many broken hearts in the world. I wish healing to the broken hearts reading this. Hearts need to stick together.”
Cardies, we wish you could sit in our seats for a day and have your hearts warmed by seeing just how many of you are actively reaching out, sending those paper hugs. Thank you for being as kind as we know you to be. I’d be remiss if I did not join Contributing Cardie Gloria Dougherty in encouraging you to do more by voicing your feelings on gun safety to your local and national lawmakers. Quantities of our Please Listen postcards are always FREE for the asking.
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
I’m so glad you’re shining a spotlight on Sandy Hook & the grief those families live with each day. When that horror happened I was sure lawmakers would finally act & prevent these shootings from ever happening again. Sadly I was wrong. We need to support them & work to end gun violence in our country.
Thanks for including me in your wonderful group.
Beautifully put, by both you and the psychiatrist.
I agree that we must do whatever we can to make life better and safer for all. I try to do my part by supporting candidates who stand up in pursuit of common-sense gun laws and human rights protections for ALL.
Thank you for remembering…