Oct 13, 2023 — We’re featuring this card today to honor the memory of a remarkable member of our Cardie Community. And because Barbara Lazar would not wish to be the center of attention today or any day, you see beside her card the Star of David and an anemone, the national flower of Israel … Barb would surely want our focus to be on the many Jewish families now grieving their countless and inconceivable losses.
I’ve written of my fondness and admiration for Barbara and her beloved husband, Rabbi Jeffrey Lazar, here many times before. Via email, they introduced themselves as big fans back in 2019 and, in the years since, from their many kind emails and phone calls to me in Miami from their home outside Boston, I gleaned messages that became five Cardie-favorite cards.
Beyond becoming unwitting “Contributing Cardies,” Reb Jeff and Barb became solid supporters, amazing sounding boards, and great cheerleaders. Clearly devoted to each other through their marriage of 55 years, Jeff always claimed, “Love at first sight!” So it was with deep sadness that I listened as he shared his heartbreaking news on July 2nd: his best friend, biggest fan, and true love of his life had passed the day before.
When our tender and tearful call had ended, and I’d said a little prayer that memories of Barb would indeed “be a blessing” to this man she adored, I thought back through my connection with her, and the card message wrote itself. Then the beautiful photo came to mind; it was one our Creative team had been holding until just the right words were found.
In Barb’s memory, I’d like to pass along something Jeff once lovingly shared with me. As a rabbi/educator, Reb Jeff tutors Bar/Bat Mitzvah students. “When parents approach their child’s big day,” he explained, “they often ask what would be good for them to say on this memorable occasion. I tell them about the lovely custom of writing what is known as an ethical will, in which parents write a letter to their children, explaining what wisdom they had gained through life. I describe it as a love letter to someone you cherish for any number of reasons — their admirable qualities,” he said, “things that they have done that demonstrate character and make you proud to have them in your life.”
Thinking back to that conversation now, given what’s happening in the world, it’s even more profound that this respected Rabbi, husband, and father would say, “How sad it would be if you never let your children know how important they are to you and why.” And then he proudly shared the ethical will you’ll see below, which Barb wrote for their two sons back in 1994.
In Jewish tradition, the condolence sentiment is, “May her memory be a blessing.” As I understand it, this means that it is up to those who carry the memories of their loved ones to keep their goodness alive by remembering them, speaking their names, and carrying on their legacy. Oh, what a better world it would be if everyone were to live Barb’s blessed way.
Sending wishes for a peaceful weekend.
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
Oct 13, 2023 — We’re featuring this card today to honor the memory of a remarkable member of our Cardie Community. And because Barbara Lazar would not wish to be the center of attention today or any day, you see beside her card the Star of David and an anemone, the national flower of Israel … Barb would surely want our focus to be on the many Jewish families now grieving their countless and inconceivable losses.
I’ve written of my fondness and admiration for Barbara and her beloved husband, Rabbi Jeffrey Lazar, here many times before. Via email, they introduced themselves as big fans back in 2019 and, in the years since, from their many kind emails and phone calls to me in Miami from their home outside Boston, I gleaned messages that became five Cardie-favorite cards.
Beyond becoming unwitting “Contributing Cardies,” Reb Jeff and Barb became solid supporters, amazing sounding boards, and great cheerleaders. Clearly devoted to each other through their marriage of 55 years, Jeff always claimed, “Love at first sight!” So it was with deep sadness that I listened as he shared his heartbreaking news on July 2nd: his best friend, biggest fan, and true love of his life had passed the day before.
When our tender and tearful call had ended, and I’d said a little prayer that memories of Barb would indeed “be a blessing” to this man she adored, I thought back through my connection with her, and the card message wrote itself. Then the beautiful photo came to mind; it was one our Creative team had been holding until just the right words were found.
In Barb’s memory, I’d like to pass along something Jeff once lovingly shared with me. As a rabbi/educator, Reb Jeff tutors Bar/Bat Mitzvah students. “When parents approach their child’s big day,” he explained, “they often ask what would be good for them to say on this memorable occasion. I tell them about the lovely custom of writing what is known as an ethical will, in which parents write a letter to their children, explaining what wisdom they had gained through life. I describe it as a love letter to someone you cherish for any number of reasons — their admirable qualities,” he said, “things that they have done that demonstrate character and make you proud to have them in your life.”
Thinking back to that conversation now, given what’s happening in the world, it’s even more profound that this respected Rabbi, husband, and father would say, “How sad it would be if you never let your children know how important they are to you and why.” And then he proudly shared the ethical will you’ll see below, which Barb wrote for their two sons back in 1994.
In Jewish tradition, the condolence sentiment is, “May her memory be a blessing.” As I understand it, this means that it is up to those who carry the memories of their loved ones to keep their goodness alive by remembering them, speaking their names, and carrying on their legacy. Oh, what a better world it would be if everyone were to live Barb’s blessed way.
Sending wishes for a peaceful weekend.
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
Rabbi Jeff & the cardie community, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Barb. As Jodee wrote so beautifully, this is a time of mourning for all the innocent victims of this horrible war. I love the idea of the ethical Will & will print theirs out for reference. Jodee, your mantra is #10 on their list, uplifting people every day with your cards & kind words. May we all try to live our lives by their example.
❤