Celebrating You

MAR 01, 2016 – Remember as a kid saying, “When I grow up, I want to be …”  How did you fill in the blank, do you recall?  Turning 61 today, I’ve decided that — when I grow up — I want to be just like my friend Hannlis, who has three full decades on me.

If you follow Cardthartic, you’ve read about Hannlis before … we live on the same stretch of Miami Beach and, from my office window, I can see her walking and reading and swimming and shelling day after beautiful day.  While some at the shore may see a white-haired, whippet-thin old lady, those who know her see someone much like the little girl pictured on this card; except that Hannlis found peace and joy long ago!  Now 92, she’s teaching us how. :)  Today, I’d like to pass along some bits of wisdom we’re learning simply by watching Hannlis doing:

1. Keep Moving
While she can still tool around in her cute little teal ’97 BMW convertible any time she likes, Hannlis chooses to walk as often, long and far as she can … no less than a mile each day. Having had a bit of cancerous colon removed before Christmas meant she had to slow down long enough to regain her strength, but regain it she has in a very purposeful way.  Along with walking sticks, she uses the same skills she employed as a physical therapist for nearly 50 years to continually set new, achievable goals — always “no more and no less” than she feels she can manage.

2. Accept Help
While many elders refuse to use a walker on the grounds that, “It will make me look old,” elegant, ageless Hannlis says, “It makes me feel mobile!”  One day soon after her surgery, I watched as one of the three sons she raised as a single mom extended his hand to help her rise from a chair.  He was gently told, “Thank you. I love you for offering, and what will help me the most now is for you to encourage me to do as much as I can for myself.”  I am honored to be her Life Alert emergency contact (and thereby learned how to use scarves and necklaces to dress up the fob thingy :)

3. Stay Engaged
Hannlis is admittedly a bit addicted to political coverage, but how wonderful to be so informed that she can tell you who stands where on the most pressing issues of our day.  She grew up in Nazi Germany where, “early on, we could feel the winds of change,” then moved to Philadelphia (“home of our US Constitution!” she says proudly) in her 20s.  Gotta tell you, it gives me chills to hear her say with still a bit of an accent, “I do not take lightly words like ‘movement’ and ‘revolution,’ especially when used to incite a mob mentality.  If you’ve seen what I have, these are words you do not want to hear.”

4. Ask for What You Want
When the grown son who had been staying with her for a time moved on, Hannlis called the cable company to go from the Premium package her son had initiated back to Basic. When told NO that was not possible because she’d signed an extended contract, she played her card well, “What?!? I’m 92 years old!  Do you really think I would have signed an extended contract?!” :)  Getting nowhere, she promptly called a competing company which not only bought out the old contract, but gave her a credit to boot!

5. Take Care of Yourself
Nutritious food and exercise are a given, Hannlis says. “Get better at listening to your body … it tells you when it needs more rest or food or motion. With practice, you can hear very clearly what it’s saying.”  Hannlis points out that, as much as we may wish to, we cannot do at 30 what we did at 15, at 60 what we could at 30, at 90 what’s still possible at 60.  “But, by learning to recognize, ‘I’m tired’ — and making a point of stopping to rest and maybe even nap — a whole lot more can be accomplished.”  I was with her when she was discharged from the hospital following surgery, and smiled at hearing her nurse say that — in her long career attending thousands of patients — Hannlis is the only one she’d ever known not on a single med.

6. Enjoy Life
“Make more time for friends, sunshine, books, music, wine: They all exist solely for our enrichment.”

7. Let Your Feelings Be Known
I think one of the best things to be learned from Hannlis is to waste no energy on criticism, and express love like there’s no tomorrow.  Many are the times we’ve said our goodbyes and — after squeezing my little dog for all she’s worth — Hannlis has made it clear that I’m next up. If you’ve never been looked straight in the eye and told, “I love you exactly as you are,” it feels incredibly sweet and deep and pure.

Whether or not you’ve yet to meet yours, I believe we’ve each been blessed with a Hannlis. And, if we choose, we can all still grow up to be one!  I’m off to have a Happy Birthday, and wish you a Happy New Day all your own.