ALT="Cardthartic Passages card with two hands holding pinkies with pen and coffee cup showing acceptance""

March 26, 2021 — We all want to know that people are here for us when we need them … and even when we don’t. And we all want to feel accepted. Given the number of cards you send, Cardies, we imagine that you are someone others turn to for love and acceptance. All those cards signal to us that you have a heart that is big and wide open.

Something a friend posted in response to the devastating Atlanta shootings reminded me that, no matter how caring and inclusive we may think ourselves to be — unless we walk in another’s shoes — we can’t really have a true sense of what they are up against day after day. How the world affects them. How they feel.

ALT="Putu Hiranmayena, a musician and author writing on love and acceptance"My friend, Putu Hiranmayena, is a passionate and upbeat musicology professor, born in Indonesia and raised in Colorado. Because Cardthartic is all about “honoring emotions,” we admire how he so eloquently used words to give those of us who are not Asian-American an unvarnished sense of the confusion, the fear, the hurt and the anger so many people of Asian descent are now feeling here in this country they love. This is what he had written:

 

 

Please help me understand … why do you hate us so much?
We have shared our culture with you
We have shared our art and music with you
We have shared our cuisine with you
We have opened up our borders for you
We have taken jobs that you considered beneath you
We have contributed to technological and medical advances for you
We have stayed silent when you exoticize us
We have stayed silent after you eroticize us
We have let you use us as the butt of your jokes
We have let you over-dub our language so that you understand
We have suppressed our way of living to fit your way of knowing
We have produced knowledge to make you look more diverse and cosmopolitan
You speak loudly as consumers of our products and hold your tongue when we need you the most
Please help me understand.

 

 

Putu said he was flattered that we found his words so powerful that we wanted to share them with all of you. “If only one person reads it and stops to think,” Putu told me, “it will have made a difference.”

As we’ve said many times and have seen you do so often, keep spreading the love and acceptance, Cardies. You never know just how big a difference it can make.

Felicia Elenum
Cardie Community Manager