Cardies’ Condolences

July 21, 2020 — When the news stresses the numbers (cases, deaths, daily vs all-time highs) it’s natural to want to turn away and protect our hearts from the enormity of the suffering those numbers represent. But, as hard as it is, the more we can keep our hearts open to what’s behind those statistics — the grieving families and crushed friends — the better we’re able to tap into our compassion and send it out to those who need it from us now.

You may already know that Cardthartic came to be when we lost my dad … my siblings and I received so many touching condolences from friends and strangers alike who loved our father. I have to say, the cards themselves were awful, but what people penned — their feelings for this kind and funny man — was incredible. Reading those real and raw sentiments, I thought, “Why doesn’t anyone publish authentic messages like these?” Nearly 30 years later, Dad’s legacy lives on. There are real people and beautiful stories within every card.

Take the design at left. One of Cardthartic’s first sales reps and dear mentor of mine, Shirley Robins, called from Minneapolis one night back in 2015 to tell me her closest friend had just passed. Shirley joined that friend three years ago now, but I will never forget the night she spoke of her fondness for Sally, on and on went the Sally stories until finally she said, “Oh, Jodee, there are no words. Because there are so many!’’ On the card back you’ll see Message by Shirley Robins, On the Passing of Beautiful Sally Perlich Bye.

In the last years of her life, my mother lived in the building next door to me and, every morning, had breakfast al fresco at the snack bar by our little community pool at the sea. Not long after Mom passed, I was surprised by the loveliest note that read, “You don’t know me, but I work at the pool and have had the pleasure of seeing your mom daily for years now. She was quite a lady, and I will surely miss her smile.” When I went to thank the woman, I asked if we might publish part of her note to me, so the card back reads Message by Jeanette Jagiello, Remembering DJ. (right)

Having spent 14 years at the tip-top of our best-seller list, this condolence message came from the sister of one of the ladies who picked, packed and shipped your card orders for nearly as many years. Through her sister, Pam Hills, Carolyn Bartle sent me a note that read, “When my beloved husband died, part of me did, too. But now I feel certain that, when you’ve loved someone your whole life, their love surrounds you still. Maybe you can use this sentiment on a card to help others heal.” We did, and it surely has. On the card back: In Memory of Robert Bartle.

You’ve seen the great writing of Jenni Betz on many of our cards. If you want more, check out her Jenni’s Betz Family Columbus blog where Jenni writes about the everyday in her poignant and whimsical, earthmom way. This card message (right) was culled from one of her posts eight years ago. Inside it says, “hearts do, too.” While today her blog celebrates the joy she finds in life with three young boys, the “threads” passage was written as she said and her family said a years-long goodbye to daughter Celia, who died of the rare childhood Batten Disease at age four. As you’ll see on the card back, Jenni’s aunt, Cherie Tolliver, took the image; Message by Jenni Betz, To Celia’s Tremendous Will.

Our great Wisconsin Rep Mary Aschenbrenner for two years lobbied us to add the condolence category to our Meanings of Life line. So convinced was Mary that these cards were needed that she went as far as researching icons and submitting background information with proposed messaging. As often happens, Mary was right! Meanings of Life peace lilies (left) and forget-me-nots quickly became top of the line. Thankfully, Mary never said, “Told you so!” (Though she was not above, “I’ve only been telling you for two years.” :) Longtime Meanings of Life illustrator Joanne Friar painted the peace lily in honor of her mother-in-law Barbara Owen.

In January of last year, Cardie Gloria Dougherty shared with us that she’d just lost “a dear neighbor and precious friend. Gretchen Maring was my touchstone, the one always there.” When months later Gloria ran a 5K fundraiser in Gretchen’s memory, she used our Tree of Life notecards to thank her sponsors. “The symbolism is perfect for a woman who spread her branches wide and roots deep,” Gloria wrote, which became the beautiful design you see here. Message by Gloria Dougherty, In loving memory of Gretchen Maring.

In the Spring of 2017, Contributing Cardie Rosemary Tolliver emailed us, “For the past few weeks, I’ve been caring for my older brother, John. I wanted to share with you what my husband, Rod, said when I called home to tell him that John had passed away. The words felt perfect to me. ‘He lived long and he lived well, and it was time to say goodbye.’” Rosie was so right; with a wee bit of tweaking, the soothing and beautiful message soon became this “perfect” condolence card; Message by Rod Tolliver, Remembering John Herbert.

When you read all the backstories above — and step back and sense your own losses — I think you’ll know why I wrote this message years ago: I feel it’s so true. We originally published it on a Passages card and, in that form, it has been such a Cardie favorite that, when we set out to create our Pretty Words line last year, we chose it to be among those messages we’d have hand-lettering artists bring to life.

Some day we’ll share stories from the many Cardies who’ve written us, like Ann John, who went on to be a Contributing Cardie with a number of messages all her own. “I have become unable to send any condolences other than one of your extraordinary cards,” Ann wrote us back in 2016. “I have had several recipients tell me they’ve saved the Passages card I sent them in their bedside table, their Bible or their purse, just so it’s handy when they need to see it again.” Now you know: These cards have been inspired by real, well-loved people … and it’s caring Cardies who keep their spirits alive.

jodee stevens

founder & chief creative