August 31, 2021 — Cardies being cardies, we’re generally a joyful lot! The only trouble with being such caring and sensitive souls is that we can sometimes feel the world’s pain as if it were our own.
As I’ve written before, the Surfside building collapse was five blocks down the beach from where I live. In the weeks after, Contributing Cardie Mauri Truesdell emailed me, “I’m keeping you extra close in my thoughts and prayers. Stay safe.” When I replied with my thanks, I added, “It’s surreal. Because town officials say they have no need for volunteers (in other words, “kindly stay out of the way”) friends and I will enjoy our gorgeous beach and guiltily say to each other, “How can it feel like heaven on earth where we sit, when it must feel like hell just blocks away?!”
Mauri answered, “You’ve reminded me of a prayer I used to keep on my refrigerator: “God, help me with the confusion that comes when joy and sorrow live side by side in my heart.”
She then went bravely on to explain, “Years ago, my 19-year-old daughter died as a result of her bipolar disorder and resulting drug addiction. My then 22-year-old daughter was three months pregnant when her sister died. Needless to say, it was a sad time for us, but it helped so much to have a new life to focus on. I pray that you and your community will be able to remember joyful moments even as sorrow weighs on your hearts.”
I’m grateful to say that Mauri not only gave us permission to share this with you, she has agreed to let us turn those last beautiful words into a Passages condolence card. It will surely soothe countless people who will never know its backstory as you now do.
“I pray that you will be able
to remember joyful moments
even as sorrow weighs on your heart.”
Because of the sorrowful disasters — both natural and man-made — weighing on so many hearts now, we thought this the perfect day to share the lightness of the card above. It was written by Contributing Cardie Teresa Bender, who I recently had the opportunity to visit in the home she shares with her husband Richard and their two adoring dogs. Teresa and I spent a good couple of hours talking at Richard’s bedside, where he now spends most of his time. She kept lovingly trying to bring him into the conversation as best she could, and as she has for the 53 years since he returned from Vietnam unable to walk or stand.
We talked about the beautiful message that blossomed from her amazing outlook on life, and I got to see for myself that her thoughtfulness runs deep and true. As we were saying our goodbyes, I told Teresa that seeing how patient and loving and caring she is with Richard makes me admire her all the more. “It must be very challenging for you, and yet you’re so incredibly cheerful!” I said, to which she chuckled and replied, “Not always!
“There are hard days, for sure,” she said, with just a lyrical hint of her Scottish heritage coming through. “He used to be such a strong and active man,” she said, “and you see what life is like for him now. I feel the least I can do is try to make his life as happy as I can.”
In addition to the card above, Teresa wrote the one next to it below. She gives our cardie community hope, doesn’t she, that we can all master Mauri’s art of remembering joyful moments even as sorrow weighs on the heart! Even now it makes me smile to think Teresa may be out in her garden photographing birds and flowers to take in to show Richard when he wakes from a nap. And I can just hear her cheery, “Hellos and hugs to you today!”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
I love Mauri’s prayer “ when joy & sorrow live side by side in my heart.” Yesterday Bill & I were sitting on the dock enjoying a spectacular, sunny day, blue sky, sparkling water & commenting how the people in Louisiana were suffering after the destruction of hurricane Ida.
Jodee, we need a magnet if that prayer.
good morning cardthartic,
HELP ALWAYS COMES AT THE RIGHT TIME !!
i surely needed this newsletter today !
i have been feeling as “low”
as i have ever felt in my life.
it is not a feeling i am
very familiar with.
i can usually see the
positive side of things,
however i can’t
seem to find it.
i definitely needed
your prayer, mauri
and your comment
about finding the joy
even in these incredibly
sad days.
it is overwhelming
to my spirit —
afghanistan,
haiti,
my friends death
household challenges
my own health challenges.
i know it will serve me best
if i walk through it
rather than trying to walk
around it.
it never served me well
when i hiked
to attempt to walk
AROUND difficult terrain,
i usually found myself
hopelessly lost (:
and had to backtrack
to where i started. ):
so perhaps i will
be with all the sadness ?
walk with it,
perhaps even
hold its hand ?
CARDTHARTIC IS A HUGE GIFT TO ME
i still feel gratitude .
yahoo for that !
and i do know there
are blessings in the sadness.
i will have to go
on a finding expedition (:
We learn so much from other people’s stories. Everyone has trials and it is always helpful to know how others get through theirs. These two are inspirational for sure! Thanks Mauri, Teresa and Jodi for sharing.
Hang in there, Judy! Sometimes life can just bring us down. As tragic as Afghanistan and Haiti are plus personal losses and challenges, there are great acts of humanitarianism going on and we must keep our faith in those efforts.