March 19, 2024 — Yesterday morning, Creative Coordinator Bianca and I jumped in the car to go pick up a friend who had driven herself to her 6 a.m. cataract surgery and asked us to get both her and her car home. We plugged my phone into the dashboard and it lit up with the number for Pamela Salem O’Hagan, still on my Favorites list. 🥲
For new readers, let me say that Pamela was truly one of the loveliest people on earth — a Contributing Cardie and dear neighbor friend that we lost almost a month ago now, though it seems like both yesterday and forever. Many of you know how good it feels to have a “lift each other up” friend through life. Pam is sorely missed.
It was Contributing Cardie Carrie Wolfgang who wrote the magnet sentiment in a note thanking us for supporting her through the very challenging time of closing Novel Destination Used Book Emporium back in June of 2023. When we later emailed Carrie asking permission to publish her words — initially on what has become a best-selling card and now magnet, too — she responded, “The serendipity of this request arriving as I am trying to sort both personal and business changes into some magical life brew that will nourish my family, those I feel responsible for, and myself, is not lost on me!”
The summer before, Carrie had written to share, “A young lady has befriended Novel Destination as she recovers from traumas. She just turned 16 and is graduating from 10th grade + leaving her treatment program for home full-time. I gave her a book and she chose four of Cardthartic’s Meanings of Life designs: Hummingbird, Dragonfly, Pine Cone, and Unicorn. She explained that the transitions she faced would likely be hard, so she planned to hang the cards above her bed pillows to read each night. She said she knew she would feel better and stronger when surrounded with such uplifting phrases. So, through the cards, we’ve managed to provide both joy and inspiration!”
Yes, ways of “lifting each other up” seem to be needed more than ever, so we thought we’d share some tips that were initially offered by Contributing Cardie Lauren Rowell back in a Cardie Newsletter in 2022. A beautiful writer, Lauren is also admirably open and trusting with the fact that she is among the 50 million Americans known to be struggling with mental health challenges.
“Back in 2015, I had a couple of unexpected seizures,” Lauren explained. “While I was recovering, a lady from my church sent me a very touching and personal note in a card. Knowing how much it meant to me to receive this ‘real mail’ (meaning non-ad, non-bill, and non-solicitation letters), in May of 2016 I began to send cards with personal notes written in them.”
In the eight years since, four of the notes Lauren wrote and shared with us have become Cardthartic designs, including the butterfly magnet you see below. And, amazingly, she’s sent 7,403 cards! Not just Cardthartic cards, of course; she has chosen cards made by many different publishers as well as her own hands. So who better to offer insight on how Cardies might reach out and lift each other up, especially in times of sadness, grief, and anxiety.
“We begin by acknowledging hurt,” Lauren says, “we don’t pretend it isn’t there. Simply acknowledging is a caring and comforting way to remind people that they are both thought of and loved.”
Lauren points out, “Both physical and mental health conditions can leave one exhausted, struggling to find energy and emotional stamina. As one who battles mental illness, I have found what connects most deeply with those I write to is to extend a lot of grace for people to come as they are and feel what they feel. Let people know they are seen and accepted wherever they may be.
“You might take this a step further by inviting someone who is struggling to join you in an activity or go somewhere to be surrounded by others,” Lauren suggests, “if they so choose. And then accept their ‘No, thank you’ if it comes. As a person with anxiety,” she shares, “sometimes going out to an event or even gathering with an established group of close friends is downright terrifying for me … but being invited still makes me feel seen and loved. Being thought of matters, whether the decision is to participate or not.
“Which brings up the important point that extending grace means considering ‘No’ a perfectly acceptable response,” she emphasizes. “It’s natural to want to take a loved one’s pain away, but we are not capable of that. And when we press, or try platitudes, or quick fixes (no matter how well-intentioned and thought out) the wound may just deepen and the person may begin to feel like they’ve become no longer a person but a project to you.
“Loneliness and pain are heavy things,” Lauren reminds us, “so feeling seen and cared for makes a world of difference. Gentleness, tenderness, truly loving and seeing the other — all are the actions and words people long to see and hear.”
When Cardie Deborah Duffy read Lauren’s suggestions back in ‘22, she left the comment, “Thank you for the beautiful words, new thoughts, and helpful suggestions for how to maneuver age-old challenging and painful situations people deal with every day … you provided new ways to approach very tender and fragile friends and strangers alike.
“There is a single sentence I often consider when trying to decide when and how to ‘be there’ for someone,” Deborah shared. “I don’t know who to credit for these powerful words: ‘Those who notice the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice, and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in.’”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
March 19, 2024 — Yesterday morning, Creative Coordinator Bianca and I jumped in the car to go pick up a friend who had driven herself to her 6 a.m. cataract surgery and asked us to get both her and her car home. We plugged my phone into the dashboard and it lit up with the number for Pamela Salem O’Hagan, still on my Favorites list. 🥲
For new readers, let me say that Pamela was truly one of the loveliest people on earth — a Contributing Cardie and dear neighbor friend that we lost almost a month ago now, though it seems like both yesterday and forever. Many of you know how good it feels to have a “lift each other up” friend through life. Pam is sorely missed.
It was Contributing Cardie Carrie Wolfgang who wrote the magnet sentiment in a note thanking us for supporting her through the very challenging time of closing Novel Destination Used Book Emporium back in June of 2023. When we later emailed Carrie asking permission to publish her words — initially on what has become a best-selling card and now magnet, too — she responded, “The serendipity of this request arriving as I am trying to sort both personal and business changes into some magical life brew that will nourish my family, those I feel responsible for, and myself, is not lost on me!”
The summer before, Carrie had written to share, “A young lady has befriended Novel Destination as she recovers from traumas. She just turned 16 and is graduating from 10th grade + leaving her treatment program for home full-time. I gave her a book and she chose four of Cardthartic’s Meanings of Life designs: Hummingbird, Dragonfly, Pine Cone, and Unicorn. She explained that the transitions she faced would likely be hard, so she planned to hang the cards above her bed pillows to read each night. She said she knew she would feel better and stronger when surrounded with such uplifting phrases. So, through the cards, we’ve managed to provide both joy and inspiration!”
Yes, ways of “lifting each other up” seem to be needed more than ever, so we thought we’d share some tips that were initially offered by Contributing Cardie Lauren Rowell back in a Cardie Newsletter in 2022. A beautiful writer, Lauren is also admirably open and trusting with the fact that she is among the 50 million Americans known to be struggling with mental health challenges.
“Back in 2015, I had a couple of unexpected seizures,” Lauren explained. “While I was recovering, a lady from my church sent me a very touching and personal note in a card. Knowing how much it meant to me to receive this ‘real mail’ (meaning non-ad, non-bill, and non-solicitation letters), in May of 2016 I began to send cards with personal notes written in them.”
In the eight years since, four of the notes Lauren wrote and shared with us have become Cardthartic designs, including the butterfly magnet you see below. And, amazingly, she’s sent 7,403 cards! Not just Cardthartic cards, of course; she has chosen cards made by many different publishers as well as her own hands. So who better to offer insight on how Cardies might reach out and lift each other up, especially in times of sadness, grief, and anxiety.
“We begin by acknowledging hurt,” Lauren says, “we don’t pretend it isn’t there. Simply acknowledging is a caring and comforting way to remind people that they are both thought of and loved.”
Lauren points out, “Both physical and mental health conditions can leave one exhausted, struggling to find energy and emotional stamina. As one who battles mental illness, I have found what connects most deeply with those I write to is to extend a lot of grace for people to come as they are and feel what they feel. Let people know they are seen and accepted wherever they may be.
“You might take this a step further by inviting someone who is struggling to join you in an activity or go somewhere to be surrounded by others,” Lauren suggests, “if they so choose. And then accept their ‘No, thank you’ if it comes. As a person with anxiety,” she shares, “sometimes going out to an event or even gathering with an established group of close friends is downright terrifying for me … but being invited still makes me feel seen and loved. Being thought of matters, whether the decision is to participate or not.
“Which brings up the important point that extending grace means considering ‘No’ a perfectly acceptable response,” she emphasizes. “It’s natural to want to take a loved one’s pain away, but we are not capable of that. And when we press, or try platitudes, or quick fixes (no matter how well-intentioned and thought out) the wound may just deepen and the person may begin to feel like they’ve become no longer a person but a project to you.
“Loneliness and pain are heavy things,” Lauren reminds us, “so feeling seen and cared for makes a world of difference. Gentleness, tenderness, truly loving and seeing the other — all are the actions and words people long to see and hear.”
When Cardie Deborah Duffy read Lauren’s suggestions back in ‘22, she left the comment, “Thank you for the beautiful words, new thoughts, and helpful suggestions for how to maneuver age-old challenging and painful situations people deal with every day … you provided new ways to approach very tender and fragile friends and strangers alike.
“There is a single sentence I often consider when trying to decide when and how to ‘be there’ for someone,” Deborah shared. “I don’t know who to credit for these powerful words: ‘Those who notice the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice, and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in.’”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
The words written above stating “but being invited still make me feel seen and loved” reminded me of a very special gift from my friend, Madeline. We had lost contact for a period of time. Back then all you had was home phones & mailing addresses, so a move or family crisis could make you lose touch with someone dear for a while. However, when we reconnected, it was just in time to be invited to her bridal shower & wedding. Perfect timing because in our hearts we knew I was part of the wedding party even though I didn’t have the matching bride’s maid’s dress.
I am a firm believer in ‘When you see something say something’. I do not mean just for safety as this saying is used for. I mean ‘Say something’ that you notice like a compliment or kind word to those you encounter in your daily life. A stranger’s day might be greatly improved if you take notice of them and say something as simple as ‘You have a great smile’. Compassion is contagious.
We need to have that last quote from Deborah on a card. It is perfect! Picture on the front should be a stormy one– maybe mountains. (Tuesday musings)… :)
I was just at Mardis Gras. I had been in the “crowd” for parades. For one of the parades I decided to hang back against a wall. While I could not see the bands, I could hear them and I could see the floats. But I was not in the crowd and just stood and watched people going by rushing to who knows where. A man came over to me and said, you are just so chill. You are standing there, eating your king cake (of course) and look like you don’t have a care in the world. I cannot begin to tell you how those words resonated with me. That’s the way I want to be all the time. To have a stranger stop to say that to me was life changing.
It is true that a kind word or gesture sends the receiver a message that they matter…were noticed…are included.
As Candy pointed out, “Compassion is contagious”.
Being a Cardie is such an honor and a blessing!
All I can say in regards to this newsletter is “WOW!”