June 10, 2021 — This week we happened upon the most powerful little animated video and want to propose it for your weekend watch list. It’s a sweet and touching ode to those living with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers, and a heart-tugging nine minutes for all who hold cherished memories.
It’s estimated that one in every five Americans is a family caregiver. Our own Meanings of Life Illustrator Joanne Friar lost both of her parents in 2019, after caring for her father with Alzheimer’s, and mother with dementia and anemia. “Caregiving is tough,” Joanne acknowledges. “Our parents were married 67 years, and my brother and I tried hard to honor their wishes to stay in their home. To make that possible for them, we took turns … my big-hearted brother lived a half-hour away, and some days went over twice.“
To those of us looking for ways to support the caregivers we know, Joanne advises, “The best thing you can really do is just listen, because sometimes what caregivers need is to just unload. I know I felt like I had all this tension inside and needed to talk about it but, when I started unloading, I felt bad and embarrassed. Because, first of all, I knew how lucky I was to have had both my parents for that long – most people don’t! – and, second, because caring for them was not the only thing I wanted to talk about. It’s just that caretaking is so consuming that you can feel really isolated.”
Another way to lend support, Joanne suggests, might be to make short visits to the person being cared for. “I emphasize ‘short’ because, at least in our parents’ case, they tired easily; but having visitors other than my brother and me was so uplifting — releasing those endorphins made my parents happy, and our role easier. I’m not suggesting you assume the caregiver’s role on these visits,” she emphasized, “because that could cause real confusion. I’m saying visit for fun, not to work.
“It helped that my great husband was willing to troop over there with me day or night,” Joanne says with a smile. “He loves sailing, so I would always tell him that creating Meanings of Life is my sailing. :) When the going got tough, I’d go sit and paint new cards. It’s not work, I’d say. It’s my stress relief!”
Remember to have your tissues handy if/when you view the beautiful animated short. Especially if you’re a caregiver, here’s to a stress-free weekend. Take care of you, too.
Cried like a baby seeing this video … so well done and touching. And, what’s more touching is Joanne Friar’s very personal and beautiful story. Thank you for sharing, Joanne. P.S. While we’re here, your talents with Meanings of Life make ME sail. Thank you.